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Mullet Hunting

Want to catch a mullet? Not the fish – the more deadly prey of mullet hairdos. Here are five proven techniques to a successful mullet hunting experience.

Stealth

Take the picture from a place unseen by the mullet so the mullet is not aware of your presence; choose a location that is far away or behind an object, such as a car or a tree. This is a great technique to use when you desperately need a picture and can sense the mulletude.

The result: Unless you have a good telephoto lens, the picture is fairly useless, but no bodily harm is incurred during your quest for the mullet.

Bait

This is the most common hunting technique currently in use. Using a trusted friend as bait, ask him or her to approach the mullet and pretend that you really want to take a picture of your friend. This technique is especially effective since it allows you get a great close-up shot of the mullet. Try to time your shot to avoid capturing the initial bewildered look that the mullet usually has in this situation.

The result: You get decent pictures and minimize the possibility of a physical altercation.

Guerilla

This technique is the favorite of the most confident and experienced mullet hunters. It is also the most dangerous, so do not try this unless you are a professional. Walk up to the mullet and just point and shoot! Since you are taking a risk anyway, make it worth your while and go for a well-composed head shot. Use a flash to confuse the mullet and temporarily blur his vision, making it easier for you to escape. There is nothing more dangerous than an angry mullet, so run as fast as you can after getting your shot.

The result: This technique usually results in getting the best picture of a mullet in the wild. Unfortunately, the Guerilla technique could result in a trip to the emergency room if you have not carefully planned your escape route.

Call out

This technique is very direct. Approach the mullet boldly and call out the mullet specifically. You can begin by flattering the mullet, then telling him that you mistook him for Billy Ray Cyrus. This puts the mullet at ease, and you can then ask if you could take his picture.

The result: When properly done, this technique results in the best pictures with the least possibility of injury.

Dirt tactics

This technique uses simple deception to capture the mullet. Take your camera and pretend that you are carefully examining it. Then ask a friend to figure out whether or not the flash is operational. When your friend fails to do so, calmly say that you need to take his picture to see if the flash works. Quickly turn the camera away from your friend, aim it at the mullet and take your shot. By the time the mullet realizes what has happened, you are already walking away with your trophy as proof of your successful hunt.

The result: As with the bait technique, the results are usually a decent picture, and you usually get to walk away unscathed.